All of me
Before Russell joined our family, my husband and I worked together full-time. When Russell was born, we were blessed to be able to take him to work with us. From the outside it probably looked just perfect. We made a nursery in the back room of where we worked and he got to be with mom AND dad all day. Such a lucky boy. But the thing is, he didn't really get to be with us. I went through all the motions, but it was so hard to put my heart into the mommying thing when I was feeling the pressure of so many other demands. I'd nurse him while composing an email one handed and then put some toys out for him to play with between an interview with a potential employee or a meeting with a professor or a phone call from a publisher. There was no playing on the floor with him. There were no days to just stay in our jammies and snuggle and read stories for hours. We were working in a business that involved my entire family. We had purchased a house. We were so blessed and work had its thrills and rewards for sure, but things were complicated and I felt very trapped. I had never longed for anything before like I longed to just be at home with my baby and to just. be. called. Mom.
Now I get called Mom all day........ALL day. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllll day. Come to think of it, do I even have a name?!?! Life has changed a lot for us, but I still feel so blessed. And in those moments when I'm not feeling so blessed and I am certain one more whine or one more mess is going to break me, I remember how I longed for this. And then it becomes easier to remember why I longed for this. My time, my talents, my heart....growing up these two little people needs the WHOLE me right now, and I so, so LOVE being able to give that to them.
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