Success

When I take on a task, success is my only option.  I was the girl who would cry over a "B."  Even now I find myself avoiding things unless I'm confident that I'll deliver a successful outcome, and right away, of course, because I'm so patient like that.  I say no to snowboarding because there are too many factors involved that scream a miserable day, all day, cold day, expensive day, bruised bum, and bunny hill with a great, big, huge FAILURE next to my name and that skill.  I like to play games I can win.  Such a nice quality, I know.  But who doesn't, really?  Success just feels so good.

Too bad measuring success on things that really matter is a little more difficult, not to mention, an outcome that we may have to wait a lifetime to enjoy the fruits of.  Success in marriage, success as a mother, success as a friend, success in callings, success in being a disciple of the Savior:  success here is also my only option.  But what does success look like now, when the kids are crying and the bills are piling up, when there's differences of opinions and fragile feelings, when there isn't a report card being distributed to tell us if we're accomplishing our goal.  Sister Beck's talk HERE has been a great anchor for me as I've tried, in the midst of all this, to evaluate if I'm on the road to success.  She says:

"Good women always have a desire to know if they are succeeding. In a world where the measures of success are often distorted, it is important to seek appreciation and affirmation from proper sources. To paraphrase a list found in Preach My Gospel, we are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness. We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best. We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help others who are in need. We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us.  Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly."

Great stuff, huh?  I can't get over the "we may still experience disappointments."  Success CAN look like that.  In fact, it often does.  The scriptures are filled with countless examples of prophets who certainly experienced disappointments, yet they lived by the Lord's definition of success with exactness.  Not only was "peace, joy, and hope" available to them in the midst of their life's disappointments, I think it would be pretty safe to say that they were not "disappointed in [themselves.]" 

And one more from Sister Beck's talk because it's all there, and she says it without the slightest hesitation.  I love it.  She quotes Eliza R. Snow.

“We want to be ladies in very deed, not according to the term of the word as the world judges, but fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones… Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities.”

Becoming "fit companions of the Gods and Holy Ones."  Don't you ever ask yourself "how on earth can I qualify to stand next to the holy prophets that endured so much?"  That is for sure my definition of success, to stand with them.  But how can I say that and then be scared sometimes at what I realize may be required of me to get there?  Disappointment.  Heartache.  Everything BUT appreciation.  Persecution.  But peace, joy, and hope.  It's available when we hold on.  I know that is true, and that "there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized."  Maybe not today.  Maybe not tomorrow.  So forward with patience, and forward to success.  Bring it!  And ALL that comes with it.  I'm in it to win it.